:: I Wish

I wish I had two million bucks. I wish I lived in Northern California, or maybe a hi-rise in Vegas. Not New York. I wish I had longer legs. I wish people would quit being so.....

My local paper recapped two local deaths, and several serious injuries, at the hands of 'pets' during the past four years. The reporter seemed amazed that in almost all cases the families found it almost impossible to believe that their beloved 'pets' would cause harm to others.

Maybe the dogs were only trying to 'protect' their victims, a la Roy... Yeah, that's it..

And the poor young lady from Duluth, who only wanted to get away for awhile and think things through. Can't her family understand that she had to do what's best for her. I can't believe how selfish that 'bunch' must be, thinking only of themselves while their future wife/daughter/friend/sister/whatever had to suffer through a bus trip to Vegas and then Albuquerque, in mental anguish all the way..

(Poor little girl with rich parents, and a devoted fiancee. I'd have made her drag her butt back on that bus and I'd have met her at the bus station... in two days. Let her wear that towel over her head for eighteen hundred miles.)

Being obese went from being the number two killer to the number seven... in one weeks time. I went out a bought me a couple of giant burgers, fries, and apple pies, to celebrate...

Next week some scientist with the governments council on physical fitness will have it elevated to number one, while another white coat from the fast food industry will downgrade it even further. Maybe we'll know the truth when we're autopsied...

A magician in South Carolina turned down a chance, again, to work a chain of restaurants because it might require him to actually develop a 'routine'.

But.. before you're critical of him, let me relate that I know him personally, and he has several 'pets' to take care of daily, plus it's hard for him to make long-term commitments when he's being 'pressured' by others. Often, when he's cornered, he hides his fears in food. Fast food. The faster, the better.

Someone suggested maybe a cigarette or two would help relax him before each session. Since he's a former three-pack-a-day'er, quit for twelve years, maybe a couple won't hurt.

Maybe..

After all, it seems a magicians life is NOT about the decisions he makes. It's about the decisions he DOESN'T make......